Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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