Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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