You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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