the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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