so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize