I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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