is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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