my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
