break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
