if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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