He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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