I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
