well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
