in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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