I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
