if you like me you must not know who I am
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
