Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize