.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
