wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My vagina is officially offended.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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