I CAN MOONWALK!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
