Don't you send me to vm
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
