Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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