I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
