i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
