Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
