I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
