i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think i have herpe
just one?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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