I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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