32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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