so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
