Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
