ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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