They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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