Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
