I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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