Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
