don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
