she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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