Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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