I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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