You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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