Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found puke in my bra..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
