Got a toothbrush?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
