OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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