she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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