Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
420 ftw
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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