You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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