So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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