he shaved USA in his pubs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
