1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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