I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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