That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
