got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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