I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
