1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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