Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
