i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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