My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
