In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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