just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
