His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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