I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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