high people should be assigned attendants
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
