I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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