Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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