Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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