party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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