You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize