i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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