i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
