You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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