I wannas sexs uuuuu
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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