There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
