So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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