spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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