dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
