what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
