Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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