I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize