it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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